Friday, March 11, 2011

The Creep of Disinterested Middle Age

A too early morning text message (SMS) from a female friend seemed to suggest that she was playing Cupid.

I read it twice before deciding that she was in fact trying to hook up a "damsel in distress" with none other than the infamous attorney and man of too many religions and psychic delusions, Guru Mooi.

I wrote back while allowing the disappointment of her choice to creep through my intensely tired consciousness as I prepared for yet another day of let down at salary hell.

"Why is this damsel in distress?" I asked.

Moments later the answer appeared inducing a tinge of uncertainty.  The "damsel" apparently only needed legal advice from the Guru of many things (including labour law) and unreconciled striving(s).

"I thought you were trying to play Cupid," I wrote back.

"Oh no I suck at that but she is gorgeous," my friend wrote back.

I sent a facsimile of the interaction to Guru Mooi with a line informing him that Earth Wind and Fire are playing the Coca Cola Dome in Joburg.

It would be a great opportunity for him to get to know the "gorgeous damsel" I thought as I waited for the Guru to respond.

Part of me was excited at the prospect of hooking a fellow forty-too-late-for-change-and-hope like me to someone described by a respected sista as "gorgeous".

The possibilities beckoned.

I mean maybe the "damsel" had a single friend who fit the same description, if even not entirely, and there could be a possible double date in the offing.

I could see me and the Guru with "gorgeous" squared listening to "Got to Get you into my Life" and doing so live!

My cell beeped and I eagerly checked the message for the next step.

"When are Earth, Wind and Fire coming?" the message read.

What the hell hey?  Did the fool just read past the bit about a "gorgeous damsel in distress" and the implied possibilities of squaring said gorgeousness for double the viewing pleasure?

"March 27," I responded.

"Is Philip Bailey and Maurice White going to be on stage or do we get fakes?" the disinterested Guru answered.

I let it go and just shook my head in defeat. 

A "damsel", a "gorgeous damsel" in "distress" nogal, and the Guru did not even feign an interest

When I got to work a final text message appeared from the Guru.

"Jwaks (the constructed term of affection he uses for all 80s Rhodes folks he merely tolerates) Google Earth Wind and Fire and make sure that Philip Bailey is on stage.  If not it would be better to just listen to Karaoke."

I Googled and found out that Philip Bailey is likely to be present.  The rest of the original group are most likely eating tapioca and playing board games in a retirement home somewhere in the Midwest.

Damn.

My enthusiasm has been severely doused.  I'll listen to Earth Wind and Fire's compilation CD on my way back from work today.  And I will definitely not be going to the concert even if Phillip Bailey sent me a free ticket!

Turns out the "damsel" will be calling the Guru for advise over the weekend.

And strangely, I have a taste for tapioca.  Perhaps a prelude to my preparation for that inevitable and fast approaching Boogie Wonderland in the sky.

Onward!

6 comments:

pserean said...

slms ridwan
lol...oooh.i'm having a Vision }
the universe being what it is, there's a high probability that your friend is just disinterested cos....

*wait for it*

he picked up a girl at a certain U2concert?
;P

anyways, read this post and then went browsing through my blogroll and couldnt help but connect the dots (actually it was a double whammy of bold and italics. couldn't miss it really.) to Azra's ..

http://www.azurah.com/2011/03/coz-being-housewife-doesnt-mean-that.html

Ridwan said...

SLM pserean:

I so want to believe your version that I am going to adopt it as my 'official' narrative of Mooi's continuing disinterest and disconnected distance.

I will do so even now that I know the disinterested one has literally gone fishing this weekend.

The distress and the damsel has to compete with the ferociously exciting act of a grown man waiting for fish amidst likely conversations of the big one(s) (including relationships) that got away.

I am beginning to believe that the playground of the mind beats reality on any day.

I have looked in on Azra's blog and I think she is most likely right about "distress" signals and damsels.

The damsel here, however, is mostly a construction of existential anxiety made worse by two middle age men who were most likely in bed by 9pm last night - actually I was at a party till midnight lamenting my self-imposed 9pm curfew ;0)

Thank you for "connecting dots for me" pserean here and on your excellent blog.

I should mention that the disinterested one is trying to persuade me to visit Tibet with him in December (despite it being winter) to search for enlightenment or something.

I wonder if the damsel (any damsel) would kindly take my disinterested place?

Be well my friend :0)

Onward!

Ridwan

Dade said...

Wow! This post speaks to me on so many levels! I think one must be of a certain age to appreciate it. And I'm of that age!

:-)

Ridwan said...

Thank you Dade. I knew you would understand the drift(s) here.

Peace brother.

Ridwan

pserean said...

slms...
lol. It's ok being disinterested and middle aged.
(Better than being a middle aged creep at any rate;)
(What? you walked into that one!)

and the nice thing about a self imposed curfew is you can cheat whenever you wish.
now that im back in the parental quarter, i have a curfew too.
suitable for a Lady.
It's called - Maghrib Time.

(I kid you not.)

That kinda boredom- beats existential angst anyday. Or maybe it Is existential angst. Who knows?
*yawn*

Ridwan said...

Salaams pserean:

Maghrib is a suitable time for a gentleman too.

I may just follow your example.

Of course I would have to quit my job ... mmmm now that is a kind of freeing curfew.

See what you started?

:0)

Be well and enjoy the "parental quarter".

Onward!