Sunday, March 25, 2007

Adapt or Cramp

Dear Bra Cliff:

Now that I know you reads my posts here, I thought I'd waste your time some more. Ummm, do you remember in school when they made us write letters in Afrikaans? What was the name of that dude who taught us Afrikaans in Standard 8?

Did I tell you that I saw him scuffle with another dude in front of the Sunbar in the 80s? They were both dronk (drunk) and he was defending the reputation of his absent wife. Sad huh? Two memories of a man whose name is lost to me.

OK. That is not what I wanted to talk to you about. I have more pressing issues to table here. Ummmm, do you remember that we spent a lot of summer afternoons here in West End just doing squat? And do you remember that my knowledge of math and sport were about equal. So equal that I leaned on you to see me through the veld on more than one occasion.

Anyway, bra Cliff ... ummmmm, are you still with me broer? Tell me what the f*ck was Jacques Henry Kallis doing at the crease yesterday? Reason I ask is that my understanding of math has improved marginally and to my mind it seems as if his is sorely wanting.

Am I wrong to assume that if you are chasing 377 ol Jacques should have been counting on hitting some fours and sixes? Geez Cliff, he looked old and under the delusion that he was playing in a five-day match. Do you know he was born in 1975, the year before the Soweto Riots?

Do you remember what you and I were doing in 1976 when Sam Nzima took this picture of Mbuyisa Makhubo carrying Hector Pieterson, and Antoinette Pieterson (Hector's sister)? Do you remember that Mbuyisa Makhubo fled to Nigeria after the Riots? And that his mother believes he died there of malaria sometime in 1978. I still get very angry when I remember how the white government battled on the bodies of Black children.

OK so I drifts. But you know that about me, right?

I do have a lot more questions for you. Remember how those arrogant Aussies always say that the South Africans are "chokers"? They are right huh? Didn't the critics tell South Africa to "adapt" their game?

Don't get me wrong bra Cliff, I can't stand Ricky Ponting's boys but they seem to be right on the "choker" characterization.

Sometimes I wonder if our whole post-aparthied reality is not also a 'choker'. I mean look at our stance on Zimbabwe and Burma (Myanmar). Looks like we won't support sanctions against Zim or Burma 'cause we prefer diplomatic intervention. Ummmm, remember when President Mbeki's ANC sought sanctions on apartheid-South Africa 'cause it was the moral and right thing to do? Why is it different now? Has the value of moral and right changed while I was 'learning me' some sport codes?

Are we South Africans "chokers", and now also 'crampers', bra Cliff? Have we sold out on the struggle principles so many died for?

Is this one of those 'new math' equation moments when
A = 1 but also 1 = B? What should I do to solve the equation? Or is this like a word problem, remember those? So if a ball leaves Kallis' bat at the speed of 5mph at 1pm, then what is the temperature in Sri Lanka right now?

Don't know bra Cliff. I still get confused when I think about math and sh*t. But, though I may not be an intellectual sage like that hippo from yesteryear, I think the championship temperature in Sri Lanka can be 'summed' up by this intense picture of Murali below.

OK, so one last question for you. Am I wrong to assume that the value of 1 = 1? So, this means that we get to send 1 national team to play in the World Cup. So does New Zealand, Kenya, India, and others. Ummmm, why then does that little Island Great Britain get to have two teams in the World Cup? Are we supposed to assume that 1 = 2 when dealing with the lapsed empire?

Oh before I go, why do I have a bad feeling that the murder of coach Bob Woolmer was an inside job?


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