Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Al-Qaeda in My Bathroom

This morning as I dragged my tired being into my bathroom for a wake-up shower I was confronted by an Al-Qaeda type terrorist.

Right there in my bathroom. Staring me down with red evil beady eyes and that now familiar Muslim sneer you see on Fox TV.

A real live breathing terrorist.


Of course I was shocked. I looked nervously to see what he wanted while trying to act like I was just going about my business.

Moments passed and blood rushed to my consciousness and then I realized it was all a mistake. Silly me. I had mistaken my Arab-looking Muslim terrorist ass for an
Al-Qaeda terrorist. Those bathroom mirrors can fool one sometimes.

Whew! I was relieved. What a close call hey?

I immediately started to plan my day. You know how they say death is closer than you may think. And Al-Qaeda brings death everywhere they are found!

Well I decided to live and even had a third cup of java with my fourth donut.

It was somewhere in the middle of my third cup that I read a report that covers suspected Al-Qaeda type terrorists in Nigeria!

Whoa.

Al-Qaeda terrorists like Saddam Hussein, I mean that other terrorist fellow Ahmadinejad, right there in Nigeria. Who would of known hey? After all, there have been so many terrorist attacks by Al-Qaeda in Nigeria since 9/11.

Right? There have been Al-Qaeda attacks in Nigeria, right? Just wait a minute, I'll Google it and report the number here.

You should know that President Bush has warned Nigeria this was going to happen. Well with all the oil in Nigeria and the fact that the Muslims there are ummmmm .... greedy and not trustworthy or sumthen.

But don't be fooled though. They are everywhere. In New Zealand they found Al-Qaeda type terrorists dressed up like Maoris.

Anyway, I am going to WalMart right now to buy me one of those nightlight doodads just in case. Well you know a brother is getting on and I don't want to be confronted by an Al-Qaeda induced heart attack in my bathroom in the middle of the night.

That reminds me though, I need to carry my AK47 with me to the bathroom at night.

Meanwhile .... I am still trying to count the number of times Nigeria has suffered an Al-Qaeda attack ....

While I count consider picking up your terrorist hunting permit. I just saw one of these a couple of months ago on a gas sipping SUV. Go get yours before they get you!


We live in a dangerous bathroom.

Ridwan Bin Laden

4 comments:

Erica said...

You are terrible! LOL

GiGi - The Shy Giraffe said...

dammit for sure i thought you got stalk by them fanatics just reading the 1st portion of your post...lol.

sigh, i miss walmart, target and ross.. yes i shop at cheap budget stores..lol.

as for the terrorist hunting permit...is that for real?

take care.. and..uhh.. go shave will ya..

=:O)

Ridwan said...

Hello Gigi:

I would have thought that Target, Ross and WalMart would be on your 'little Island' by now.

The good thing about them is that when you visit again they will be there waiting for you :0)

The permit shown is a replica of one that some more 'patriotic' folks put on their cars.

I am gonna be late for work and yes I need to shave ...

Have a great day Gigi. It is good to hear from you little sista.

Peace,
Ridwan

Dione said...

I'm a terrorist too U know! ;)

Don't let society tell you to shave that beard either!!

I am interested in this terrorist hunting permit. I will require someone to show me that, if they decide to come and get me. Where is that knife?