Friday, July 08, 2011

For The Guru Philes

The holy one descended last night and I asked him where his new writing installment was.

"It's controversial and I must decide whether it is safe to release it," he replied.

This from a man who hangs out with god.  Still confuses me why he needs to check on anything.

But several of his 'followers/admirers' have asked about him and his writing and his Reiki classes and I have nothing.  So, he sent me an old piece he calls "Walk Like an Egyptian: Walk Like an Indian!".

It is undated since the Guru is timeless.  Without a start and without an end.  But his best piece I think.

You can read it here.  And it is uncensored.  So gather the kids and grandma around the fire one of these cold nights.  A good time will be had by all.  Promise.

Pay special attention to how he and the lead lady slept in the same hotel (bed ?) traveling through India.  Yo hey!  My boy the Guru. And he be a G too and who wud have thunk it?

Then they came home to South Africa and she hooked up with a white boy.  Yo hey!  Should he not be able to see into the future?

Sorry Guru.  Been there too.  And not just once.  White boys can apparently jump the Hindian sistas now.  

Peace and luv nonetheless my brutha (yeah it is OK now for men to tell each other they ... you know ... luv each other and stuff ... I think).

See the Guru's masterpiece deconstruction of India here (in case you missed the two other links above).

And ladies, the man who walks with god and the angels is available and loaded - with cash too :0)


"... If you want to find all the cops 
they're hanging out in a donut shop ..."


Erica said...

So, are we like pimping out the Guru to the ladies now?

And do you also know that you're dead wrong with that video? One day the Guru will be the cause of you entering a witness protection program.

From what I hear, his wrath is greater than that of "The Almighty!"

"Hi Guru!"

Ridwan said...

That nigga got no power over me. The only sweating I'm doing is because of this here flu medication.

Somebody got to pimp his ass. The boy damn near 48 and still ... :0)

Shhh Erica ... I just turned 47 and there is no comparison ... :0)

He has responded to the post by text. It was wordy by his standards. It read:

"You just jealous."

Not sure about what. He drives a Toyota and lives with his mamma ...

Damn. Why do I sound just like the Guru?

You do believe he is real right?

I can't make someone like him up.

Believe me.

Much luv,

Erica said...

I truly believe the Guru exists, just as I believe God does. Wait.....maybe they're one in the same.

Damn!Now I'm confused.

Ridwan said...

And you think we need Jesus?

You need to roll into church this Sunday and stop worrying that the pastor is staring at your fynness.

Hell he is just a man if even one of the cloth.

You fyne. So enjoy it even in church.