Saturday, July 09, 2011

"Hold Your Temper"

D. and I walked into 'our' now usual hang-out to meet the cojones crew around lunchtime today.  They were already seated in the back by a large window that allows for spectacular views of nothing in particular.

Five meters into the establishment both D. and I turned to look at each other as we reached a double date table where two very Indian young ladies were out with two very white boys.

"Hold your temper," D. said with a smile as we reached our table of married cojones doing the usual sport and sex talk back.

What the f*ck hey?   When did Indian women step out into crackaville with such audacious authority?  Aren't these the same women who want an engagement ring on their fingers before you can hold their hand on a date?

What the hell is going on in the world of saris and mendi?

Sashi Naidoo is crowned the sexiest woman in the world by FHM and she is fyne and Indian.  But home gurl is not at home anymore because she been cruising white lanes and married a lame ass white boy who tells everyone he had immigrated to the US but he came back to be with Sashi.

Whatever.  I know a couple of Indian astronauts (Moonsammys) who would have hiked back from the moon to be in Sashi's life.  And Zubaida Jardine?  She is not Indian but Malay but that means squat to just about anyone except Indians and Malays of the diaspora.

She is married to a white boy along with Kass Naidoo of cricket SA fame.

What the hell is going on?  I know a few played out aunties in Lenz and Laudium the white boys can gladly have.  For real.  But these stunning sistaz?

Are Indian women now working on booty reparations?  I can relate.  But damn.  Marry them?

(Please remind me to invest in whichever company is manufacturing bidets in South Africa.  It is gonna be a bumpa decade for profits.)

And where the f*ck are Prakesh, Imtiaz, and Hitesh when these Hindian sistaz are being raided by the leftover colony?

These questions filtered through the played out cojones gathering but none among the played out bras were even as incensed as me.

Well 'cause except for one other dude I am the only one without a prenuptial contract or any other such contract period.  And damn the pickings are slim enough without Jannie, Koos, and Donald f*cking with our genetic stock.

"Call that Guru friend of yours and ask him how he could let that Hindian woman he travelled around India with to get impregnated by whitey just like that," one of the cojones who reads here said.

I whipped out the cell and called him of hymns, gospels, and transcendental spiritualism. 

"She liked white boys all along and I was not really interested in her in that way," the Guru fought back against the background jeers and insults from the cajone crew.

I hung up on his coloured ass.

"Where is that white woman athlete you almost married Ridwan?" my boy D. said with a playful glint in his eye.

"Ummm dammit that was different.  I'm a brutha who calls the shots.  I'm Fanon and Biko rolled up into one.  I'm the bad radical who can decenter whiteness and float like a butterfly when I needs my brutha."

"Whatever boeta Ridi.  I thought you fell apart right after you found out she was balling her boss on your clock."

The table grew quiet and homies were staring me down.  I did not want that sh*t out there D. I thought.

"So you called the shots and she left you for her boss ... was he white too?" a cojone spewed in me grill.

"Yeah he was white.  But so was she.  So what?" I fought back.

"The white boys got you cornered Mr. Shot Caller.  Just look over there.  Hindian beauties are not even worried about you or us and the white boys could care even less," the cojone added.

"Are any of you muthaz married to a white woman? I asked.

"No Ridi.  You would be the one who came closest.  We been happy just with who we are all along.  But welcome back dumbass you almost f*cked up big time ne," the oldest cojone said.

Yeah I got my ass kicked today.  And hard too.


PS: If anyone is offended by the gender and race insensitivity of this post I am truly not sorry.  If you think I am pissed just talk to a few of the sistaz in the US about white women and bruthaz. ;0)


Erica said...

Not offended at all. Some bruthas here in the US are color struck. It's sad. Some of the sistas I know goes through rituals such as getting blue contacts,long flowing weaves, and even plastic surgery to make them look more "white" just to be more appealing to the bruthas.

When I decided to go "natural" and forgo relaxers, a friend actually told me that I would NEVER find a man with "nigger hair!" Of course you know she got cussed out and nearly got her ass whipped. Sad.

Needless to say I actually have a man ;)and she....well.....

Onward Dammit!

Ridwan said...

Hey there Erica:

Thank you for your input here. You know folks are gonna be pissed about this post.

But hey. We calls 'em as we seez 'em.

D. was saying today that for too long we have ignored just how beautiful we are. Our brown and black skins, our hair, our eyes and noses, our extended families, our humanity.

We resisted and fought back but also became 'inferiorized' ... and now do so without one white person around to force us into wigs, weaves, skin lightening, blue/green contacts, etc.

I read how there are young black/brown sistas anorexic because they are starving themselves to get rid of hips and curves and belly fat.

And these are beautiful human beings who see themselves as racially inferior in beauty terms.

While white women are having butt implants and looking for curves.

It is a crazy time this beating we hand out to ourselves.

Last week I read a blog by an Indian woman talking smack about Indian men and saying she preferred white men now.

Guess her daddy was/is white too.

Self hatred is a destructive thing hey.

Trust you are well today.

Church tomorrow then?


Onward! for sure.


Erica said...

I can only speak from a black woman's perspective, but I'm sure that women from all cultures has dealt with this issue. This I blame the white media. If it ain't white then it ain't right huh?

The one thing that sets my beautiful black sisters apart from the rest is that we come in a plethora of diffrent shades, sizes, and features. This is what makes us so unique, thus having the poor white girls envy this and getting lip and butt injections just to attract our black men. Sadly it works.

I blame parenting also. If we don't teach our daughters to love thier hair, body, and features, they're doomed. It comes from home.

Self respect for who you are is imperative.

I agree with the D. Our sistas are the most unique and beautiful beings ever created.

Check this out by Dead Prez. The Beauty Within

No church tomorrow. The "preacher" gives me the willies!!!!

Anonymous said...

"I'm Fanon and Biko rolled into one." Man, I wish I said that.

Biko was spot on when he said the greatest weapon in the hand of the oppressor is the mind of the oppressed. Get their minds and you'll be making bank...get their minds and you'll own the bank dammit!

Ridwan said...

Hey there Erica:

You call it just right and righter than anyone I know.

We need to love ourselves. We can't just go through life pretending that we exist and then cease to do so when YT is absent or withdraws consent.

Kwelee is right to say we need to work on our minds. It is also true that even the strongest black mind has it inflicted weakness.

Radicals often fall prey to hating whiteness so much that they emulate its power and then regurgitate its racist biases.

You see that here in SA in your face. Black empowered people who want to be anything but black in appearance and substance.

They change the way they look and sound and expect YT to just open the doors and welcome they asses home.

And when it fails, and it always does, they go looking for their people to redeem they asses.

It is a contrived life this nonsense ... but we must live differently and teach our kids too.

And hate won't solve it. Through all of this it must be said that people are just human. We mess up and we make up to start again.

I do not believe that anyone can identify as white and not be racist but I do believe that there are white people who know this too ... and a few of those folks are close to me and I am humbled by their struggle to undo what racism has done to all of us (all of us - black - brown - white and in between).

If you ain't going to church I may have to take you to mosque on Friday ... ;0)

Ridwan said...

Brother Kwelee thank you for stopping by and dropping wisdom as usual.

Your presence here is greatly valued and your blog is one of my favorite places to stop in.

When I wrote those words I was trying to flow. To resist too.

It has been six years since the incident referred too so a lot of growth too.

But I know there are a lot of folks who criticized Fanon for marrying a white woman. But I do not see that relevance though if he was sitting across from me at lunch yesterday it would have been an issue.

Fanon was "confident and unsure" and so was Biko. Both just trying to solve this dilemma and falling though the cracks at times.

But both pointing to our minds.

I like you do not just want to be the n*gger in the white imagination. Not in public and not in private.

If my relationship with a white woman is about distancing my blackness then I am an imagined n*gger.

I don't see that to be the case with Fanon - from the outside and Biko is not even an issue in those terms.

Yet it was the white Anglican church that funded Biko and pushed him to develop black consciousness.

It was Father Stubbs who edited his "I write what I like" and made it available or it may not have seen the light.

It was Stubbs who believed in him when Mandela and company walked from him.

But Stubbs never claimed to be just a white man in a black struggle.

He claimed his humanity and that is what I was thinking too.

We are conflicted and complex and that white woman I grew close to was no different.

But I never doubted her will to be something else and I won't doubt any other white person who is seeking to disown whiteness.

It is a necessary step to end racism.

But those booty encounters and voyeurism of the skin kind is what is on the table and what irks me about this post-racial era.

Those folks are just mimicking the rubbish that Erica says is sold.

And when bruthaz choose those kinds of encounters as more meaningful we denigrate our mothers and our sistaz.

There is no hiding that reality.

Onward! brother,

Kweli said...

Well put, mate.

Amandla ngawetho!


Ridwan said...

Brother Kweli I apologize for spelling your name wrong above.

No disrespect chief. Just a speedy brother who needs to pay more attention.

Peace boet,