Friday, August 12, 2011

My B*tch Has Been Messing Around

"It really makes no sense.  Why would it happen now?  Are you sure B.?"

"Of course I'm sure Ridwan.  When I found her she was out and the center of attention.  And she was loving the attention too.  I called in her direction but she just ignored me.  Just like she did not even recognize me."

"What will I do?  This is not something I thought would happen this late.  I think I'm gonna go sit quiet somewhere.  I mean I am the one who preaches responsibility and now this.  And it happened right under my nose too."

"Ridwan these things happen dude.  You cannot control everything."

"How did you find out she was out?  Where was she?"

"She left your house and that woman who used to jog with you called me and asked me if that was not your girl.  I went to look and yep there she was partying."

"I really don't know what to do B.  I thought she was too old to be chasing the nasty."

"You must be joking ne.  She is not too old.  You should know better so you need to be thinking about what is to happen next."

"Yeah.  Thanks for taking her home.  Last night she could barely look into my eyes.  Our evening ritual was ruined.  Today I put it out of my mind but when I got to thinking I started to feel really defeated.  I'm not ready for the possible fallout.  Tell me what kind of cojones were around her."

"All kinds.  Big and small.  White and black and brown.  Bold and meek. And she was not pushing any one of them away.  Sorry.  I know you must be sore."

"Ummm ... please tell me that cocky white skinny cojone from three doors up was not all up on my b*tch."

"I think he was the main one.  You should have known that since he was the one hanging around."

"I'm worried dawg.  And praying.  Please say it ain't so.  Not now.  Not ever really.  This can't be happening!"

"Well it is Ridwan.  Deal with it ne."

"B. I am not ready for puppies and especially not the pavement special kind.  My head may hurt forever if Leah is pregnant.  She is a purebred boerbol and I did not have her fixed because ... Ummm please bring me three hundred aspirin please.  It's gonna be a painful next few weeks if she is with pups."

Ahhhhh damn why is some heffa in my life always acting the fool ...?


Erica said...


Don't hate!!


Tony said...

Mmmmm....purebred boerbol huh? Well bra, all boere will have to mix it at some stage! Commiserations.

Ridwan said...

Ummm ... I'm not even feeling you Erica ;0)

Even my dog got it going on more than I ... now I'm even more depressed.

Have a great weekend boo boo.



Ridwan said...

Hey there Tony:

I guess there is really no such thing as a purebred boerbol huh?

Damn boet you got me on my race history for dogs.

This breed is the quintessential Frankenstein breed and to call it purebred is ...

There is a word to describe something that cannot be true ...

Ahhhh damn now I'm gonna spend the whole day looking for that word unless you or someone else knows it ...

Never really thought Leah was mixed by the boere (De Beers created this breed for real) ... but so it be.

Trust you well boet.

Peace ne.

PS: Ummmm ... did you notice how I refrained from calling my b*tch a coloured?

Do not want my ass kicked here in West End ;0)

Ridwan said...

Being that I am a moron extraordinaire I should have recognized that "a purebred boerbol" is an oxymoron.

Damn ... ;(