Friday, August 26, 2011

Tick Tock

"If we put some foam behind the wall clock will it muffle the sound of its incessant tick tock?"

"I don't know Ridwan.  It does not bother me the way it does you.  The last clock you made me remove was louder than this one.  I don't think they make clocks that are silent."

"Fatima I cannot sit in a room with a clock that makes me hear every second of my life.  It is simply just too intrusive even in Kimberley where life just about stands still."

"Well that is the only clock they sold that matches the color of the wall.  I just don't hear it and I don't think anyone else cares but you.  Just ignore it."

"It is driving me batty.  How in the world can anyone live inside of that noise?  It interferes with my TV viewing.  Can't we just get an electronic clock that is silent?"

"No.  I like an old-style wall clock."

"Why do you need a clock anyway?  Can't you just check your wristwatch when you need to know what time it is?  Or press the yellow button on the satellite remote and see the time on the TV screen?"

"We need a clock because I want one.  And I do not wear a watch and don't want to press the yellow or blue or any other color button to see the time.  I want to look up and it must be there.  I grew up with a clock on the wall.  It is just nice to have.  And convenient too."

"I can't live with it.  Why do you think I sleep with earplugs and even leave them in some days when I do not want to hear any sounds at all?  I'm sensitive that way.  You should know by now."

"You just neurotic. That's what I know by now."


"I said you are neurotic.  Are you hard of hearing?  Oh I forgot.  You hear too much."

"How do you spell neurotic?"

"R-i-d-w-a-n ... that is how.  Satisfied?"

"Fatima that clock needs to go.  We need something more modern.  Like a digital clock that is silent.  My life is too empty to hear seconds of more emptiness tick by." 

"So fill up your life.  Get something you actually like doing.  Make new friends.  Get a girlfriend.  Oh I forget you don't like just about anybody anymore because people work your nerves."

"What does a loud obnoxious clock have to do with not liking people?  And I do like some people.  Those I don't like I just ignore.  But that clock is too present.  I can't ignore it.  Can you?"

"I want to end this conversation.  I don't want to hear anymore."

"But I am not done complaining about the clock yet.  I need you to hear me.  I cannot live with that noise."

"You should learn to ignore."

"Ummm ... did I not just say I wanted to talk about this some more?  Why are you walking away?  Where are you going?"

"Watch and learn.  I'm ignoring you ... "

"What's ignoring me got to do with the clock?  Fatima I am talking to you ... come back here  ... you know I have separation anxiety issues.  Moms ... I don't like being ignored ... Fatima I'm talking to you ..."

My Wake Up?


Erica said...

Dammit if moms want a wall clock then let her have her damn wall clock!!!

You just itching for her to go off and light your ass up like a christmas tree.!!


Ridwan said...

Umm I'm not even feeling you.

You better be looking out the window and check on that Irene storm that is about to light up the east coast.

Please be safe.

I so hate that damn clock. I have tried everything to get it to stop ticking so loud.

I hate it Erica. Do you hear me?




Erica said...

I'm not scared of Irene.....not yet anyway.

Feel me or not, I now know what to gift my man when I come over to SA......A BIG ASS WALL CLOCK!


Have a good evening!!

Ridwan said...

I just saw on CNN that they are calling for landfall in your area in the next few hours.

You betta be worrying is all I am saying.

I'm still trying to figure out how to watch TV with ear plugs in ... this is not going to be easy.

You have a great evening too.


Kweli said...

"You just neurotic", man. Let Fatima be.

I'm going to be laughing at this all day. I can't stand clocks either. I can't stand hearing every second of my life.

Onward to infantilism.

Tony said...

One word: wireless headphones. what if I can't count, I'll get a refund on my school fees.

Ridwan said...

Hey there Kweli. I was worried that my neurotic tick was just me.

I am still trying to figure out a way around this annoyance given the clock is where the almighty TV sits - and in just weeks the Rugby World Cup kicks off.

Not to mention the US Open which begins next week.

Tick tock gots to go one what or the other.

Peace brother,

Ridwan said...

Bra Tony I blame the quality of education we were given under apartheid.

They should have known that "wireless headphones" is just one word and not three.

I mean Japanese is three words thrown together. And treadmill is two.

Why not "wirelessheadphones"?

You know what is ironic bra? The education (if you can call it that) we received under apartheid is superior to the OBE crap they feed the kids today.

I was talking to a sister who was in school with us at Pescod -in the gym of all places sucking in my gut too- and she is a teacher (and she is still smokin'!).

She told me that kids can barely write today. They can copy and paste real good and SMS (check me grammar ne :)

I have to believe her. By the time they get to varsity - they still can't write.

And we wonder why folks still vote for the idiots in charge.

They can't read the ballot broer.

I hope you lekka man. That return to Joburg is looking more and more likely. Yo, boet I'm not ready to leave Kimberley yet.

Lata Tony,

Ps. Boeta D pays almost R3000 a month for his two rug rats at a government school in Pretoria.

I think our school fees were about R5.00 a year if memory serves (the boere stole less so they could afford to subsidize schools).

If I could add I think you owed about R22.00 for the 12 years you suffered through Accountancy and PT.

Yeah that is about right. Ummm ... at today's exchange rate and comparable value that amount is equivalent to a C. class Mercedes at the very least.

Hell they should just make you the premier of our province.

That will learn them. I think.

Junaidi + Shabz said...

May your problems always be as big as a noisy wall clock :) - ameen!

Ridwan said...

Thank you kindly J+S.

I hear you but it weighs heavy still.



Kweli said...

I didn't even know that rugby world cup was around the corner. How do the Springboks look? I haven't watched since England won because of Johnny Wilkinson's foot.

All the same, I have heard the All Blacks have been sending messages. Ahem. Thrashing folks.

Ridwan said...

If you asked my boys D. or Cliff they will tell you that the Boks are poised to retain the world championship.

They beat the All Blacks last week in a scrappy match where the boot put most of the points on the board.

And the All Blacks lost to Australia today.

So, it looks to be a hotly contested World Cup that could spring a surprise from the Northern teams (France for example).

I will be watching because I have the time to do so. Will hope to see the Boks win but if not the All Blacks - never Australia (sorry Tony).

Trust you well brother.


Anonymous said...

dont like "nobody" and "working on my nevers" a flash to the past.