April 29, 2012.
A California man has sued BMW North America and a motorcycle-seat maker claiming that a four-hour round-trip ride on his 1993 BMW bike with a "ridge-like" seat gave him "a severe case of priapism (a persistent, lasting erection)" that's lasted 20 months and counting.
While there have been concerns about narrow "banana" bike seats causing loss of feeling in that area -- for men and women -- this is the first report we've seen of way too much.
The product liability lawsuit against BMW and well-known aftermarket seatmaker Corbin-Pacific (reported first by Courthouse News Service in California) was filed in California Superior Court in San Francisco last Thursday by Henry Wolf and his lawyer, Vernon Bradley of Sausalito.
The Wolf v. BMW lawsuit alleges that Wolf has continued to suffer the erection problem since the September 2010 ride -- and, as we know from Viagra ads, anything past four hours is a problem.
The lawsuit for emotional distress says Wolf is "now is unable to engage in sexual activity, which is causing him substantial emotional and mental anguish."
According to the lawsuit, Wolf wants compensation from BMW and Corbin for lost wages, medical expenses, emotional distress and "general damage."
Comment: So there are implications for both BMW and Henry Wolf in this case.
If BMW loses it may have to change its name from Bavarian Motor Works to Boner Motor Works.
Its bikes will also have to come with a health warning that like Viagra sets a stipulation on how long a hard-on should last before a rider needs to see a doctor!
And what would the diagnosis be? Long and hard ride syndrome?
I wonder if chain driven bikes are a safer option? It may be that BMW shaft motion that is causing a stiff ride, no?
I am not however sure this lawsuit will stand up in court. What do you think?
Anyway you slice it this case is gonna be a hard one to argue and I hope Mr. Wolf has more than just the immediate evidence in hand when the court rises to greet the judge.
If Wolf wins he could sell his story to be the sequel to Easy Rider. I can see it now up in Hollywood lights - Hard Rider: The story of a man and his quest to ride his boner one mile at a time.
I'd go see that movie for sure.
Nonetheless, I would not be surprised if there are more than just a few middle-age men and others just milling around BMW motorcycle showrooms right about now.
At the very least you don't need a prescription to buy a BMW motorcycle - at long last BMW bikes have some stand-up street cred!
All of a sudden I'm feeling kinda partial to a BMW GS1250R. Gotta go ;0)