Like other celebrities who transcend given names he is simply known as The Guru.
It has been a while since The Guru has made an appearance here or in the dust bowl city by the hole where I await the Angel Gabriel to whisk me off to another level of hell.
So towards the end of May I sent him a link to an article that describes a man who claims to be Jesus in Australia.
My thinking was that he would be perplexed even offended since he and I trekked to Srinagar in occupied Kashmir in late 2006 to witness a tomb or grave site The Guru claims is that of Jesus.
But it is The Guru we talking about here. This is no ordinary man even if his momz thinks he is full of it for leaving the church where he was baptized. He does, however, drive her to church every Sunday as a good son should.
AnyHowze, here is the trail of emails on Jesus in Australia that allowed The Guru to drop some enlightenment in his unique and dismissive way:
Ridwan wrote on May 30 (4 days ago):
Jesus is in Australia !!! Guru we may have to pack our bags and investigate this choet. http://www.news24.com/World/News/Australian-claims-to-be-Jesus-20130530 'The Guru responded on May 30 in original caps:
Ridwan replied immediately:DUDEIT IS A BASIC SPIRITUAL LAW THAT ALL IS ONE AND ONE IS ALL. HE IS JESUS, I AM JESUS, YOU ARE JESUS. TOMORROW WE WILL ALL BE MOHAMED. IF YOU CAN’T DIG IT SMOKE SOME GOOD SHIT AND ALL WILL BECOME CLEAR!
The Guru ignored the reply as is customary for a highly learned spiritual master. He only says stuff once unless the other spirit is present then you can't shut his ass up.So we all Hitler too then. Damn. And I was just starting to like myself.;)
The reason for this post is somewhat tied to an email I got from a friend in a land far far away. She asked what happened to The Guru.
"Do you still talk to him and what is he up to now?" she asked. "You know he brings your blog many hits and folks just luv how the two of you rag on each other," she added.
I don't know exactly what The Guru does now that I moved from the pot to the fire. From time to time he passes through this plane but does not offer much information on his doings or even if he is doing anything at all.
What I do know is that of the three rejects who went to law school at Rhodes in 1987 I am the one who flunked out and became mostly a man of not much substance, promise, or profit.
The Guru and his disciple sidekick remain the talk of the town somewhere in Joburg where the especially wealthy drink expensive shots and smoke Cubanos talking about the days when sleeping with white women was illegal.
The Guru is perhaps the most successful of all three of us. He has transcended mere mortality. He is above the mundane annoyance that is life and takes everything in his spiritual stride though he can become irritated when I remind him of our onetime struggle visions.
Once on a trip back to South Africa in early 2002 I asked The Guru how the struggle was advancing. He replied in typical dead-pan face that masked his irritation and said:
"Bitch there is no struggle. Everybody sold out to make money. Go make money it will buy you freedom."I did not want to believe The Guru but it turns out he was right. In fact he was right one evening at Rhodes University when I pissed him off and he said to me in no uncertain terms:
"You are a f*ck up and you will stay a f*ck for as long as you live."The conversation went down in his dormitory room in June 1987. I left thinking what does he know: "I am going make it big and will call him when I do."
Well he need not wait for that call. But then he knew that already. :(
He is The Guru after all.