This blog is in its fifth year. Over this period it has moved between posts about motorcycles and dogs and politics and pissed off rants.
The latter two have been more consistent features - there is no me without a rant :)
Of late I have just written freely about things personal and close to my heart and things that weigh, for now, heavy.
Truth is I'm not even reading the daily ton of newspapers and journals that usually inform some of the more substantive posts here. I have been slowly disconnecting myself for reasons not entirely apparent.
This morning I thought over coffee that I am baring too much of me here. I thought that some of the moments when I just write personal and edit later may cause some people close to me to be uncomfortable.
I then took several posts down and then put them up again (being a Gemini) after I thought the damage was done already.
I know my cousin A. will disagree with me. She reads the closest here and though she does not post comments I get her thoughts on the daily and many times in person.
She is wholly supportive of me writing so close. But still the mirror in me head is making me worry.
I have wondered what my struggle brother, Angry over at ANG, may be thinking about the late course and content of this small piece of me.
Blogs can be anything as you must know. You either write 'em or you don't. You either read 'em or you don't.
I started this blog and carried it as a contrived piece of irreverent protest and not out of any simplistic 'struggle' pretense (it is after all just a damn blog).
I never intended this space to be a Facebook type of interaction. I'm not saying that it is but I am feeling concerned that some of what I write here (of late) is just fluff or too fluffy.
I am not worried that the Guru may be offended. He is above the mundane and knows I carry him in high, if even somewhat tainted, esteem. :0)
Much of what the brother says is right. He can see and talk even when he sleeps. And in the wee hours of this morning I heard him tell me to accept that the option to just walk is primarily a matter of my privilege.
Yeah I have the latitude to thumb my nose at salary hell and its idiots because I can. I hear you O' wise, shaven, and decidedly forever single sage but you are also wrong about what I am heading toward (and what brought me here).
All of the above gets me to the belabored point of saying that I am deciding what to do with this blog.
I have been here before.
I don't want to stop writing here but I don't like fluff, fluffy, or even a little of both.