"Who is Aunty N.?"
"Why do you need flowers when you sick? People who live alone should not expect flowers?"
"Fatima I said nothing of the sort. It has a context she missed and anyway why is a kid reading my blog?"
"She is 24. Not a kid and also said you swear (cuss) a lot on there. I thought it was a thing like a political diary. Is it not just something you do when you bored?"
"I'm bored a lot moms and it is political to swear and it helps with stress. But don't worry I am gonna clean my act up as I move into that mind space where I just switch off completely. I'm almost there. May start right after I hang up the phone."
"What nonsense. It is almost Ramadan so you need to take whatever you say in any context very carefully. Be mindful of anger and just saying things for saying sake. Clear your mind of rubbish thoughts even though I know I'm talking to a brick wall here. You never listen to anyone."
"Is Ramadan not over yet? I thought it was in June?"
"Very funny. See what I mean by rubbish thoughts? But I still can't imagine what a man who said cutting flowers was cruel would need with flowers when he gets sick."
"Fatima a previous girlfriend gave me flowers when I was flat sick once and even though I don't like the idea of killing a flower for beautifying the house I was touched and remember the gesture with love and kindness. Mostly I remember her."
"What kind of flowers did she give you? And which girlfriend? An American one?"
"I don't know the kind and what does it even matter if she was Chinese."
"You had a Chinese girlfriend when? And it does matter that you remember the kind of flowers and even the color. Red roses are for love. Light color flowers like daisies are for friendship."
"I think it was love ma. We made out right after she put them in a vase. So I am pretty sure. It was love and a lot of lust believe me."
"Pleaseeee. Ridwan you were sick. Who wants to kiss a sick person? That is just so .... uuggghghg!"
"My head hurts Fatima. I need an aspirin just talking to you. Why are you making a federal case out of this flower thing? How are the dogs and Mita?"
"If anyone had to send you flowers every time your head hurt there would be very few left. Life is not about flowers and you can't judge those who love you based on flowers. In your case you so moody people just avoid you and that is the best thing. No one knows from one day to the next what you want and what makes you happy. Flowers one day and who knows what the next."
"I'm consistently inconsistent moms. Comes with living life by the seat of your pants."
"I don't even know what that means. The next time you want flowers just tell people and they will know."
"Fatima I want flowers because it makes me feel cared for and loved."
"You too old for flowers. And you are a man. Just take some medicine when you sick and stop complaining."
"I feel ummm ... beaten up Fatima."
"You should for writing such nonsense. Can't you just stick to your usual political complaints. Everyone knows you for that. Who in their right mind complains about flowers? Such nonsense. I rest my case."
"Moms I just need to rest. Get off my case. From now on don't call if all you want to do is spar. Just comment on the blog or email me your opinions so I can delete them. My head hurts just trying to weave through the deceit spawned by that Aunties' daughter."
"I don't email or blog or even know where to turn on the computer. I have better things to do and so should you."
"You may have a point moms. I am about ready to switch off. Well right after I hang up on you."
"Do that and you will never see a flower again ... "
Ps: And some in the West think all Muslim women are timid and hidden behind veils. They need to spend a week at number 11 to disabuse that stereotypical notion. Gotta luv the momster. Think I'll take her flowers this weekend when I make my way home. :0)