Men talk. And we talk about getting fat and losing weight. Well right after we talk about real women and getting laid, and about imagined women and getting laid, and then getting laid some more in the future and in the past and doing so despite being fat.
Geez you really should know these scientific facts by now!
AnyHowze, Tony started to tell me how to go about losing some of the weight that is creeping up on me.
His advice stems from his experience and I am very happy for him ...
Well, to be honest, I need advice. My routine to stay fit and keep off the pounds is ... ummm, failing miserably.
My workout routine started to falter about a month or more before leaving whiteville.
And so here I am unfit and struggling and worried that living with the momster is gonna mean more chubby forever.
I have used a version of Tony's diet before. He waxed inspirational and lyrical about how it has turned his life around and I admire his willpower and want his results.
It was not until later in the evening that I remembered the ad below and doubt entered my roller-coaster head.
After a few minutes of washing some biscuits down with assorted soda pop I realized Tony was wasting his time.
He needs worms. Me too.
Sanitized tapeworms, that is, and then we can eat all the damn pizza we want and wash it down with a Coke float or three.
Remember those? Coke and ice cream floats ... my childhood favorite and a Sunday staple at number 11.
So Tony, you my boy and all ... and I am happy that you svelte and the envy of the women in your lift-club and social circle ... well OK not so happy but more envious ... but I think you should ditch the workout routine and low carb lifestyle and swallow worms ... and a grip of them with perhaps a wash of Tequila and lemon on the side.
It is the way to go. See ad for results!
One problem though, where the hell do you buy tapeworms of the sanitized kind?
Aahhhhhh damn ... why do I feel like Pick & Pay does not stock tapeworms and even if they do ... bet it is not Halal.
Geez ... you think I am gonna be pudgy forever now? .... please help me
Ps: Ummm Tony ... I'm still the thinnest of all the fat dudes from our 80s circle ... honest. Boet is it hip2bsquare and fat?
Oh yeah I didn't think so ... dammit this sucks big time!
Image Credit (Dunno but help me)