Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Zimbabwean Man Claims Prostitute Turned to Donkey

The Telegraph (UK)
October 26, 2011.

A Zimbabwean man has told a court that he hired a prostitute who during the night transformed into a donkey, and that he is now "seriously in love" with the animal, according to state media.

"I think I am also a donkey. I do not know what happened when I left the bar, but I am seriously in love with (the) donkey," Sunday Moyo told the court, according to The Herald newspaper.

Moyo has been charged with bestiality. The court has ordered him to 
undergo a mental examination, The Herald said.  (Photo: ALAMY)
Moyo, 28, was arrested in the town of Zvishavane, about 185 miles south of the capital Harare on Sunday.

He said he had paid $25 for a prostitute, and was surprised Sunday morning when he heard people accusing him of having sex with a donkey.

Moyo has been charged with bestiality and remanded in custody. The court has ordered him to undergo a mental examination, The Herald said.

*****

Comment: I know you thinking that what will follow is a race analysis and a finger pointed at the Telegraph for reducing its Africa coverage to the above buffoonery.

Ummm ... no.  Not today.  I need to play (well that too but let's just call it play dammit ;0)

OK, so let me remind you of a post I wrote in 2007 when the same Telegraph reported that a Briton who was found guilty of having sex with a bicycle.

Yeah your ass read that right.  See my brilliant coverage here.

Now mind you the Telegraph did not say what kind of bicycle the man was f*cking.  That is just sloppy journalism would you not say?

I'm kinda partial to old skool off-road big wheel bicycles myself but there is no lust.  Well not yet.

I also love donkeys and even have a political theory drawn on the obstinate behavior of donkeys I watched alongside a road on my way to Windhoek in Namibia a decade ago.

The theory has not changed and neither will I.  Dammit.  ;0)

Nonetheless, my love for donkeys is not the kind described above.  Honest.

Geez.

Ok, so I won't diss the Telegraph for printing a story that makes fun of a dumb ass African (Zim is in Africa and Africa is a country) because they also print stories about numb nuts in Britain.

OK, so which story is more disturbing?

Would you be more likely grossed out by a white man f*cking a racing bicycle or a black man reciting love poetry to a donkey he believes started out as a prostitute?

There is a kinda karmic beauty to the latter story huh?

OK, maybe not.

In defense of the dude in Britain it should be said that he was 'sexing' the bicycle in his room when someone walked in and caught him doing the .... ummmm nasty.

Does this mean that just about every man in the world should be jailed for 'sexing' porno magazines?

Damn I'm just asking.  And yes this post is a 'naked' attempt at getting your asses to comment.

;0)

Onward!

4 comments:

Erica said...

Love you and all but.......YOUR ASS IS FIRED FOR THIS POST!!!!!!

SERIOUSLY!!!

;)

Kweli said...

Ridwan,
You cracked me up here, brother. Especially how you sidestepped that soap box of "this is more bad coverage for Africa yada yada."

The consensus out here (yes, I just polled folks) is that you should bring Mooi back. Call him and write about it -- of course, this means call him with an agenda to write about it.

Charmaine said...

Hey Ridwan,

This is a crazy post. Well both stories are crazy but wow. I had a much needed laugh at the expense of a poor donkey and a bicycle. Funny man you.

Hugs,
Charmaine

Ridwan said...

*Erica my luv you have fired my ass more times than I can remember over the last five years.

And I still luv ya more than any donkey I know ;0)

**Brother Kweli is this what some call 'sensationalist posting'.

Kinda like those media houses that showed Gaddafi's mutilated body over and over again?

Oh Mooi wrote me a couple weeks ago saying he was nearing the end of his new diatribe on relationships and he wanted it posted here.

Said he withdrew his earlier frontal attack on love and the fairer gender because he was told that he may be sued.

And the doofus is a lawyer. Go figure.

Well maybe the blog needs to resurrect that fool whether he likes it or not (he likes it).

Mooi likes fame or infamy - and this blog is a fan of his whacky ass (well in measured doses) :0)

***Charmaine this is a crazy story times two.

Did I tell you about the Rabbi, Imam, and Priest who traded in a donkey for a bicycle?

OK, let me email ya and get ready to yuk it up my sister.

Erica, Kweli, and Charmaine - Peace to all three of you and thanks for each of your comments.

Onward!
Ridi